Wednesday, July 18, 2012


About a year ago, as the end to Aiden’s treatment started to near, I found myself daydreaming about writing.  I needed to let my creative juices flow, write out loud and really start celebrating all the little accomplishments in my very new life.  Every millisecond of downtime and moment of gentle stillness I found my mind shifting from an all too precious calm to a tangled barrage of ideas.  Where to even start?  At the time, the very thought eluded me.

When my schedule permits, I often take the long way home after a morning of errands so that my little love bug can enjoy a few extra moments of uninterrupted slumber.  I am not sure if it is the steady humming of the tires over the uneven pavement or the transformation of my windshield into a living canvas but my wheels they start-a-turnin.’

I knew that I wanted to blog.  Blog again, to be correct.  I yearned for this creative outlet to be different.  Rally for Aiden was a place where I shared medical updates, advocated for pediatric cancer awareness and spoke on behalf of my family.  I struggled between pouring out my very personal feelings and writing in the third person.  I took care not to overstep boundaries and usually let my neurotic, politically-correct self take charge.  I evaded vulnerability at all cost.

Sometimes, though, thoughts I kept locked in the protective shell of my heart would began to trickle out.  Soon the drops would multiply creating a downpour and words would spill onto paper.  At that point there was no turning back and, boy, did it feel good.  The comments soon followed; flooding my inbox like the unexpected blog post pouring from my heart.  That is when I started to realize that writing, like life, cannot always be perfectly planned.  Words, moments, unfathomable truths make us and our stories unique. 

My life is by no means “normal” but really what family defines normal anyway.  Before actually getting married, working a real job, owning a home and having a baby I had very idealistic expectations of what my life should be like.  White picket fences in the suburbs;  briefcase-toting, argyle-sock wearing husband; cardigans and pearls; corner-office overlooking a cityscape;  PhD following my name; 3+ well rounded, healthy kiddos…you know, the norm (ha..ha).  From the perception of a doe-eyed co-ed this all seemed attainable.

Well, sweet, naïve twenty-something self, life is not a fairytale; it has the ability to be so much better than that.

Surprised?  Don’t be.

My life – blemishes and all – makes me whole.  Who wants to run around town in a petticoat and glass slippers anyway?  

Grappling with Aiden’s cancer diagnosis, treatment and recovery, gives me perspective.  I try each day to focus on tiny moments; celebrating accomplishments and new discoveries with Aiden every chance I get.  I do not wish time away nor do I live in a haze of unreachable goals.  Today is what matters.  

Don’t get me wrong, I have bad moments, weaknesses that sometimes overwhelm my rational mind.  I just no longer let those moments turn into days.  Really, life is just too short.  Plus, writing – delightfully free of all insurance prior authorizations – is a kind of therapy for me. 

Recently, when researching a name for my new blog, I came across the following quote by Alan Cohen, “Don’t wait until the conditions are prefect to begin.  Beginning makes the conditions perfect.”  Touché Chicken Soup-loving man, touché.

And with that, I shall begin!  Hope you all decide to come along for the ride.


  1. Hello Sunshine my friend. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished. Hugs:)

  2. Thanks so much for the kind words. :) Hugs to you too! xo

  3. It is refreshing to hear your positive outlook on your new life! I am very happy to hear the joy in your voice through your words. I look forward to hearing about this next chapter in your lives!

    Lisa Zabawa-Wilkins

  4. Leslie - Your words always amaze me, as does the strength of you and your family. I can't wait to see what this ride has in store =)

  5. I love this! I can hear you talking as you write, and you are a great writer. Will be following! xoxoox

  6. Thank you so much, Lisa! You have been such a great supporter along this journey and I am so happy that you will continue to follow along as we start this new chapter. Thanks for being such a good friend. I wish you and your family only the best!!!!

  7. Sara - as always, you offer such amazing support and kind words. Thanks for always being there. Sending much love to you!

  8. Jill, thank you. You are such a kind friend and it means a lot to me that you will be following as I write. :) Hoping that I do not disappoint. Ha ha. Wishing you all the best! xo